250 Best FBI Puns and Jokes:

250 Best FBI Puns and Jokes:

by

Get ready to laugh your way through a classified collection of humor that’s been cleared for public release. From undercover puns to agent-level wordplay, these FBI jokes will have you under investigation—for laughing too hard!

Best FBI Puns and Jokes: The Funniest Federal Laughs You’ll Ever Hear

If you’ve ever wondered what happens when serious investigations meet lighthearted humor, you’ve found your answer. Here are some of the best FBI puns and jokes that could crack even the toughest suspect.

  • I told the FBI a joke about surveillance… they’re still watching for the punchline.
  • Why did the FBI agent bring a ladder? He heard the case was going to a higher court.
  • My FBI friend is terrible at hide-and-seek—he always leaves a wire.
  • I wanted to join the FBI, but I didn’t pass the undercover exam.
  • Why don’t FBI agents play poker? Too many undercover hands.
  • The FBI tried to investigate my puns, but they couldn’t find a crime scene.
  • What’s an FBI agent’s favorite type of music? Anything under cover.
  • The FBI’s coffee is always classified—top secret blend.
  • I asked the FBI if they like puns. They said, “We’ll get back to you after further investigation.”
  • The FBI arrested my calendar. It was wanted for time travel.

FBI Puns: Investigating the Humor in Law Enforcement

This section is for all the pun-lovers who like their jokes with a side of federal authority.

  • The FBI agent loved gardening—he specialized in plant-based surveillance.
  • Never trust an FBI agent with a secret—they might file it away.
  • The FBI agent took up cooking… he was great at steak-outs.
  • What’s an FBI agent’s favorite dessert? Custardy.
  • The FBI agent failed art class—he couldn’t draw conclusions.
  • FBI agents never get lost—they always follow leads.
  • My FBI neighbor is quiet, but his dog is under constant barkveillance.
  • Why do FBI agents love camping? They’re pros at stakeouts.
  • The FBI agent was also a comedian—he killed at every roast.
  • When the FBI tried stand-up comedy, they got classified laughs.

FBI Jokes: Cracking the Case of Comedy

These jokes are more fun than an unlocked confidential file.

  • How does the FBI start every investigation? With a punchline.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite drink? Subpoena colada.
  • What did the FBI agent say at the bakery? “Freeze! This is a roll call.”
  • I asked the FBI to help find my missing joke—turns out it was under the couch.
  • The FBI agent didn’t like my joke… I guess it didn’t pass background checks.
  • How does the FBI like their eggs? Scrambled, but classified.
  • The FBI agent took up fishing… he was great at catching red herrings.
  • My FBI buddy has a great sense of humor—he’s always wired for laughs.
  • Why was the FBI agent bad at dating? Too many hidden files.
  • The FBI agent bought a new car—undercover convertible.

The Lighter Side of the Bureau: FBI Puns and One-Liners

Short, snappy, and perfect for a quick laugh.

  • The FBI agent’s diet is confidential—it’s on a knead-to-dough basis.
  • Don’t argue with an FBI agent—they have evidence on everything.
  • The FBI agent was a great chef—every meal was well investigated.
  • My FBI friend always wins at chess—he’s great at making moves in secret.
  • FBI agents hate puns… until they’re classified as funny.
  • The FBI once investigated my fridge—cold case closed.
  • I told the FBI I lost my phone… they found it before I finished my sentence.
  • The FBI agent moonlights as a DJ—he knows how to drop the bass.
  • What’s the FBI’s favorite dance? The surveillance shuffle.
  • FBI agents never tell fishing stories—they can’t reveal their sources.

Agent-ly Funny: Exploring FBI Themed Jokes

  • The FBI agent brought a ruler to work—to measure the length of investigations.
  • What do FBI agents use at the beach? Surveillance umbrellas.
  • The FBI agent refused to tell a joke—it was a classified gag.
  • Why did the FBI agent bring a pencil? In case he needed to draw weapons.
  • The FBI loves ice cream… especially stakeout sundaes.
  • The FBI agent tried yoga—he mastered the undercover pose.
  • My FBI friend loves history—he specializes in old case files.
  • The FBI agent’s dog was promoted—he’s now a sniffing specialist.
  • The FBI doesn’t like pickles—they don’t enjoy being in a jam.
  • Why did the FBI cross the road? Surveillance purposes only.

Undercover Laughs: Hilarious FBI Puns and Wordplay

  • I tried to join the FBI’s comedy unit—but my jokes were too shady.
  • The FBI agent’s phone is always tapped—for laughs.
  • FBI agents never lose at hide-and-seek—they’re born to seek.
  • My FBI buddy is great at puzzles—he always pieces the case together.
  • Why do FBI agents hate snow? Too many cold cases.
  • The FBI agent carries a camera—just in case there’s a photo op.
  • My FBI friend loves board games—Clue is his favorite.
  • FBI agents don’t play soccer—they’re afraid of being flagged.
  • I heard the FBI has a cooking show—Undercover Chef.
  • The FBI agent loves baking—every cake is filed under delicious.

File This Under Funny: The Best FBI Jokes and Riddles

  • What’s an FBI agent’s favorite movie? The Bourne Identity Theft.
  • Why did the FBI agent become a barber? To work undercover.
  • The FBI agent opened a bookstore—every book was classified.
  • Why do FBI agents make bad magicians? They always reveal the trick.
  • My FBI friend loves gardening—he plants evidence.
  • FBI agents never tell ghost stories—they can’t handle spook files.
  • What’s the FBI’s favorite fruit? Stakeout berries.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite snack? Surveillance chips.
  • I heard the FBI is hiring comedians—they need undercover jokers.
  • FBI agents don’t need maps—they always follow the lead.

Decoding the Humor: FBI Puns and Their Appeal

FBI humor works because it mixes mystery with wit. It takes something serious and flips it into something playful. Whether it’s about undercover work, classified files, or secret stakeouts, the wordplay makes the jokes engaging while still keeping the subject light.

Forensic Funnies: A Deep Dive into FBI Related Comedy


Here’s the rest of the joke list for full comedic effect. From quick one-liners to ridiculous puns, these are all cleared for release:

  • Why did the FBI agent start gardening? He wanted to dig up dirt.
  • My FBI friend doesn’t like camping—too many intense stakeouts.
  • The FBI agent’s watch is always right—it’s been under investigation.
  • The FBI agent bought a bed—perfect for undercover work.
  • Why did the FBI agent eat his report? It was confidential.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite soup? Classified chowder.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite exercise? Stakeout squats.
  • Why don’t FBI agents trust escalators? They’re always up to something.
  • The FBI agent failed cooking class—he couldn’t follow the case recipe.
  • I asked the FBI to investigate my missing sandwich—they called it a bread alert.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite vegetable? Stakeout spinach.
  • FBI agents hate bad lighting—it creates too many shadow suspects.
  • My FBI friend loves cheese—it’s always under wrap.
  • Why did the FBI agent join the choir? To sing under cover.
  • The FBI agent failed his math test—he couldn’t find the X.
  • FBI agents never need directions—they already have the lead.
  • The FBI agent’s pen is always hidden—it’s undercover ink.
  • The FBI agent went to space—to investigate the Milky Way.
  • I asked the FBI for a joke—they said it’s above my clearance level.
  • The FBI agent became a baker—he kneaded the dough.
  • FBI agents love the ocean—they always make waves.
  • The FBI agent’s shoes are classified—top secret soles.
  • Why don’t FBI agents play hide-and-seek with kids? They’d win every time.
  • My FBI friend can’t keep plants alive—too many cold cases.
  • The FBI agent got a haircut—short undercover.
  • FBI agents don’t like clowns—they’re afraid of funny business.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite color? Surveillance blue.
  • My FBI friend loves popcorn—it’s classified as delicious.
  • FBI agents don’t go to the zoo—they’re allergic to stakeouts.
  • The FBI agent has great handwriting—it’s always on file.
  • I told the FBI my cat was missing—they put it on the meowst wanted list.
  • FBI agents never speed—they don’t want to be under the radar.
  • The FBI agent hates puzzles—too many missing pieces.
  • My FBI friend can’t keep secrets—he always files them away.
  • The FBI agent’s house is clean—no evidence of dirt.
  • Why do FBI agents love coffee? It keeps them under surveillance.
  • The FBI agent’s car is always spotless—it’s undercover polish.
  • FBI agents love fishing—they always catch suspects.
  • The FBI agent wears gloves—to avoid leaving fingerprints.
  • I asked the FBI for directions—they sent me in circles.
  • The FBI agent’s hat was missing—it’s still under investigation.
  • Why do FBI agents like mysteries? They already know the ending.
  • FBI agents don’t like elevators—they’re full of ups and downs.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite drink? Stakeout soda.
  • FBI agents love cheese pizza—everything else is classified.
  • The FBI agent failed his driving test—he couldn’t follow the lead car.
  • My FBI friend loves karaoke—he sings under cover.
  • The FBI agent’s desk is clean—it’s all in order.
  • The FBI agent took a nap—undercover rest.
  • Why do FBI agents never get lost? They follow the paper trail.
  • FBI agents hate messy desks—it’s a crime scene.
  • The FBI agent’s phone has no apps—everything’s classified.
  • Why did the FBI agent go to the dentist? Undercover crown.
  • My FBI friend doesn’t like seafood—too many fishy situations.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite holiday? Stakeout Saturday.
  • FBI agents don’t use candles—they prefer surveillance lights.
  • The FBI agent’s shoes are always polished—case closed.
  • I told the FBI I lost my wallet—they put it on the most wanted list.
  • The FBI agent hates puzzles—too many missing clues.
  • Why do FBI agents make bad bakers? They can’t keep secrets from the dough.
  • FBI agents don’t like snow—they can’t handle cold cases.
  • My FBI friend likes origami—everything’s folded neatly.
  • The FBI agent’s garden is perfect—no weeds allowed.
  • FBI agents love baseball—they’re great at catching.
  • The FBI agent’s computer is always clean—no viruses allowed.
  • Why did the FBI agent cross the street? To follow the suspect.
  • My FBI friend loves donuts—stakeout snack.
  • The FBI agent doesn’t like magic tricks—too many smoke and mirrors.
  • FBI agents don’t like gossip—it’s not evidence-based.
  • The FBI agent’s office is soundproof—no leaks.
  • My FBI friend likes hiking—he always follows the trail.
  • The FBI agent hates surprises—they prefer prior intel.
  • Why did the FBI agent bring an umbrella? In case of a stakeout shower.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite tool? The file.
  • FBI agents don’t like dark rooms—they need full exposure.
  • My FBI friend wears sunglasses—low-profile vision.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite sandwich? Classified club.
  • The FBI agent doesn’t like swimming—too many deep cover situations.
  • FBI agents love chocolate—it’s top secret sweet.
  • The FBI agent signed off with a joke—case closed.

Top Secret Giggles: Classified Humor

  • The FBI agent’s diary is so secret even he needs clearance to read it.
  • I told an FBI agent a joke… he said it was “funny under oath.”
  • The FBI’s favorite soup? Clam-up chowder.
  • FBI agents hate public Wi-Fi—it’s too open and shut.
  • The FBI agent’s shoes have GPS—they track every step.

Stakeout Snacks and Laughs

  • The FBI agent loves pretzels—they’re twisted like his cases.
  • My FBI buddy always eats quietly—so he doesn’t blow his cover.
  • The FBI’s favorite bread? Undercover rolls.
  • I saw an FBI agent at the bakery—he was tailing the donuts.
  • The FBI agent loves popcorn—popped under surveillance.

Mission: Laugh Possible

  • The FBI agent joined a theater group—he’s great at undercover roles.
  • The FBI’s favorite actor? Tom Spy-cruise.
  • My FBI friend starred in a movie—classified box office results.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite TV show? Breaking Classified.
  • Why don’t FBI agents like romantic movies? Too much public display of affection.

Undercover in Everyday Life

  • The FBI agent mows his lawn in a suit—stealth landscaping.
  • I saw the FBI agent buying milk—under an assumed grocery name.
  • The FBI agent’s dog has a code name—Agent Bark.
  • Even the FBI’s houseplants are undercover.
  • The FBI agent’s mailbox is sealed for top-secret deliveries.

Surveillance Shenanigans

  • The FBI agent hides in plain sight—especially at costume parties.
  • The FBI’s favorite game? Peek-a-spy.
  • The FBI agent’s sunglasses are mirrored—for reflecting suspects.
  • My FBI friend bought binoculars—clear evidence of his hobbies.
  • Even the FBI’s selfies are classified.

Evidence of Humor

  • The FBI agent labels his lunch “Exhibit A.”
  • My FBI buddy only eats meals with proof of purchase.
  • The FBI’s favorite drink? Alibi iced tea.
  • FBI agents carry receipts—they’re evidence on the go.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite condiment? Secret sauce.

Espionage Eats

  • The FBI agent’s pizza toppings are on a knead-to-know basis.
  • My FBI friend won’t eat tacos—too many leaks.
  • The FBI’s favorite cake? Confiden-torte.
  • The FBI agent’s sandwiches are always sealed evidence.
  • Why did the FBI agent refuse the soup? He suspected foul broth.

Code Name Comedy

  • My FBI pal’s nickname is “Password123”—nobody guesses it.
  • Even the FBI’s cat has an alias.
  • The FBI agent’s pen name is Classi Fyed.
  • His gym membership is under the name “Agent Fit-ness.”
  • The FBI’s dog answers to “Top Secret.”

Operation: Pun Drop

  • The FBI agent is allergic to dust—too many cold cases.
  • The FBI’s favorite flower? Undercover tulips.
  • My FBI friend won’t play Monopoly—too many shady deals.
  • The FBI agent loves knitting—perfect cover for stakeouts.
  • Even the FBI’s vacations are classified locations.

Laughs on the Witness Stand

  • The FBI agent told a joke in court—it was admissible humor.
  • My FBI pal swears his puns are the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
  • The FBI’s favorite witness? A stand-up comedian.
  • The FBI agent objected to my joke—it was leading to laughter.
  • The FBI’s courtroom coffee is served under cross-examination.

Operation Chuckle Storm

  • The FBI agent’s umbrella is always undercover.
  • My FBI buddy wears raincoats labeled “Top Drizzle.”
  • Even their weather reports are classified forecasts.
  • The FBI’s favorite season? Surveillance Spring.
  • The FBI agent uses storm drains for secret escapes.

Laughing in Lockdown

  • The FBI agent’s fridge is locked—food is on maximum security.
  • My FBI friend calls his alarm clock “the warden.”
  • Even his laundry is in protective custody.
  • The FBI agent’s slippers are under house arrest.
  • The FBI’s favorite board game in lockdown? Clue.

Espionage Entertainment

  • The FBI agent’s karaoke song is “Secret Agent Man.”
  • My FBI friend’s favorite game show? Who Wants to Be a Special Agent?
  • The FBI agent streams shows only after clearance.
  • Even their Netflix queue is redacted.
  • The FBI agent’s favorite comedy? Arrested Development.

Confidential Cuisine

  • The FBI’s chili recipe is a classified dish.
  • My FBI buddy calls his grill “the stakeout station.”
  • His pancakes are flipped under cover.
  • The FBI’s salads are tossed with covert dressing.
  • The FBI agent’s coffee beans? Evidence grounds.

Stealthy Sports

  • The FBI’s favorite sport? Undercover curling.
  • My FBI pal won’t play tennis—he avoids court dates.
  • The FBI agent’s soccer nickname? The Goal Witness.
  • Even their baseball stats are classified records.
  • The FBI agent only runs in covert marathons.

Surprise Interrogations

  • The FBI agent asks questions… just for the punchline.
  • My FBI pal interviews everyone at the dinner table.
  • Even their riddles come with a warning.
  • The FBI’s favorite game as a kid? 20 Classified Questions.
  • He interrogated my sandwich about missing lettuce.

Mission: Impossible to Stop Laughing

  • The FBI agent’s trampoline is for undercover jumps.
  • My FBI buddy calls his couch “the safe house.”
  • Even his toothbrush is part of Operation Fresh Breath.
  • The FBI agent uses night vision for midnight snacks.
  • The FBI’s favorite dance? The Disguise Slide.

Redacted Ridiculousness

  • The FBI agent’s grocery list has blacked-out items.
  • My FBI pal redacts birthday cards for “security reasons.”
  • The FBI’s crossword puzzles are half classified.
  • His shopping receipts are stamped “For Your Eyes Only.”
  • Even his sticky notes are in the vault.

The Final Laugh File

  • The FBI’s office plant is wired for surveillance.
  • My FBI friend’s stapler has clearance level Alpha.
  • The FBI agent keeps pens in witness protection.
  • His coffee mug is bugged—literally.
  • And his favorite bedtime story? Goldilocks and the Three Surveillance Bears.

Leave a Comment